What Is It YOU Want From Me?

"What is it You want from me, God?" This became my prayer today.  There is sooo much going on in my life, that I haven't asked God regarding my future in ministry to much lately. God has asked me to stay surrendered to Him so much the last year and a half.  When I didn't like the way things were going, I just repeatedly had to go to God and surrender my life back to Him. But, in ministry I haven't asked God too much on where He was going to take me later when it came to leaving the public school system. I just have been so busy praying over all the drama in my life and surrendering to God's will in all that, that I haven't taken the time much to focus on what happens next after the dust settles from it all.

But, today, I started looking forward again to what and where does God want to take me, moving forward from all this.

Where and how does God want to use me in the days, months, and years ahead?  What is the plan He has for me?

I know I am supposed to be a mom first, and that I'm supposed to train up my boys in God's ways.  I know I am supposed to walk in all the fruits of the Spirit and flow in the anointing He has for me.  I know I will have to continue to surrender myself to Him daily, but my question is "Where are we headed in all this?  What lies ahead that YOU want for me in the days, months, and years ahead?"

I think I see some things in the future, that I like. But, I also ask God at times, "Are You sure? Is this for real? Is there REALLY such a thing to be true?"  And, I hear God tell me to just trust Him.  He'll take care of it. I just have to continue to stay surrendered and obey.

I believe that when we truly seek God, He will reveal His plans and His heart to us.  But, we must diligently seek Him.  So, again I am seeking Him, and I am asking again, "What is it You want for me? What is it that you have planned in the years ahead?"  I am content to remain single the rest of my life.  Though, I hope that I won't have to do so.  But, more importantly, I just want to serve Him in whatever capacity HE has for me. I don't want to move in things I want for me, but in what God wants for me and my children.

So, I'm asking again tonight, "What is that God? And what is it going to look like in the days ahead? Where do you want me to function again in ministry outside of the public school?" I mean I sing now in our church worship team. I have worked as a children's ministry leader at the church, and my heart's desire is to hopefully get involved with the teens in our church later in the next year.  But, what and how, I don't know.

Teaching in the public school takes SOOOOO much of my time.  There is little of me left over for my boys, much less for church.  I give and give and give, and I wonder, "how can I do it, God? How can I give more, to Your kingdom and to benefit others, yet still lower the stress level of my life?"  How?

I don't really know the how's and why's yet, but I AM going to trust Him to take care of it all and to fill in the details. I'm just going to trust!

So, tonight, my prayer again is "what and how. Show me, oh God."

That's all for now - stay tuned for the rest of the updates on my life saga.

Coming tomorrow - Part 3 (The phone call).