Update on my Storm - part 2 (the waiting)

After the service the night John Bevere was at our church, I called D. and asked him what he thought about the message and the presence of God there.  He casually said, "It was good." 


Stunned, I replied, "That's it? You just thought it was just GOOD?"  


He was quiet for a moment, and the nonchalantly said, "Well, I liked what John said about being a friend of God.  That was good."  

I was in awe.  How could he only take away from this, that it was just "good?"  God's presence had been so very thick in the room with us.  There was even a time I felt I couldn't stand for God's presence was so thick.  
How could D. have stood in the presence of God like that and only felt it was just "good?" 


The next day, D. wrote me a short note that said, "Just so you know, I'm proud of you and your abandonment of self to God.  It may not mean anything to you, and that's OK, but I wanted you to know anyway." 


I so wanted to ask him why he couldn't do the same.  I wanted to shake him, saying, "Don't you know that you can be this abandoned to God too?  Don't you know the blessings God would pour on you if you did? Don't you know that God's plan for you is bigger than ANY you could ever have?"  


I didn't though. I just prayed for him, and let it be. 

The next two days, I didn't hear from D. much until Thursday (last week).  He said he was going to see the counselor (my counselor - who's a spirit-filled certified marriage counselor).  


I was excited he was going, but now concerned again that he was going to change his mind.  For I KNEW, that going to the counselor was going to sway him back to me. And, in my flesh I didn't want that.  There had been too much pain, too many words from D. about my inefficiencies, and too many things, that I didn't want to have to deal with.


Yet, in my spirit, I wanted it more than anyone can understand.  I wanted everything to be set back right and for God to use my situation as testimony of His grace and mercy- of HIS restoring power and work. 


So, again, I waited for him to go and for his phone call (that I knew would come).