Update on My Storm - part 4 (The Phone Call)

Well, I called S., and just "unloaded" all I was going through and dealing with right then. I didn't even care what she thought of me.  I just knew I was supposed to tell her everything. I had so much to say, and I horrible about myself that I didn't want D. back.  I felt guilty that my emotions and heart were saying, "no, no, no," to all this - that I didn't want to do this again. AND, I knew that God was about to ask me to surrender to Him again! But, I also KNEW I had heard from God telling me that this divorce WOULD happen.

I didn't WANT it to happen, but in a sense I just wanted it to be over.  I had lived in this "nightmare" long enough, and just wanted it to be done.

Well, after I unloaded it all on S., she quietly just said, "Tamera, I know someone who went through something similar to what you are going through." And, this is how she handled it.  She then proceeded to tell me some of what had happened to this lady she knew and how this lady walked with God through it all.  Her story was such a testimony of God's faithfulness - of how even though this lady's husband never came back to this lady and still hasn't come back to God, that God sustained the lady through it all and blessed her for her faithfulness and obedience.

She told me how this lady had to do things she didn't want to do and how some of the people in the church even were against some of what her mom had to do.  But, that the lady KNEW she had heard clearly from God and had to obey him.

I was so encouraged.  I had been at such a loss AGAIN. I KNEW I had heard from God.  I had had so many confirmations from different things that had happened and different people who had spoken into my life, that I KNEW this was supposed to be.

So, when I got the phone call from D. saying he wanted to meet, I began to ask God, "Why, God? Why now?" But, God remained faithful and spoke to me through my friend.

But friend S. prayed for me and such peace came over me, that I knew God would be with me and hold me, even with what I was about to walk into.

Before I got in his home, I again prayed that the Holy Spirit would walk with me and give me wisdom in what I was about to deal with.

I KNEW what was coming, but I didn't want it to come.  For with it, meant that I had to surrender to God once again.  Not that I don't try to surrender to Him every day, but sometimes, we think we have it all surrendered to Him, and then He shows us again that we don't - we really don't have it ALL surrendered!

- part 5 (The meeting) to come later