Fasting - Just some thoughts on it

This is from a letter I emailed a group of ladies about 2 years ago.  I had no idea at the time I wrote it that I was about to enter into a VERY hard season in my life - with my husband informing me he was leaving me.  I had no idea that I would be fasting more the next 2 years than I had EVER in my entire life, and that I would be growing in the areas that I have grown in - learning to rely on my God for my EVERYTHING and to be my constance guide and 
companion.  


But, I can tell you, that after reading it again this afternoon - the words in it still ring true with me, and I can testify that fasting HAS brought about revelation and change in my life.  It has brought about breakthroughs I could not have had without it.  

This past year I have practiced, come to love, depend on, and seen amazing results from the wonderful discipline of fasting.  I have seen and experienced how fasting draws us so close to God.  It disciplines us and humbles us to be able to hear His voice more clearly.  When our souls seek His heart, voice – HIM- more than we seek or comfort ourselves with food, He gives great blessings and revelation. 

James 4:8 says “when we draw nigh to God, He will draw nigh to you (us)….”   How wonderful He is, His Word is/becomes, and His voice so clear when we are willing to lay down part of our desires to draw nigh (closer) to Him. 

I asked myself why more people don’t fast, whether it be just for a certain food type (meat, chocolate, sugar), a meal, a day, a few days…, and I have come to the conclusion that it is because the devil knows how POWERFUL fasting is.  He tells us that we should “wait” until we FEEL that God is telling us to fast, or that we aren’t doing it (fasting) right if we don’t go completely without.  The devil legalizes and causes us to over-analyze the practice of fasting so that we just don’t do it at all. 

Yet Jesus tells us in His word in Matthew 6 that we are to give, pray, AND fast.  He says in Matthew 6:2 “when you give…” and tells us what to NOT do and what to do when we give.  He tells us in Matthew 6:5 “when you pray…” and again tells us what to not do and then models what we are to do in His prayer to God (The Lord’s Prayer).  Then in Matthew 6:15, He finally tells us what to do and not to do “when you fast….”  The assumptions “when you give…, when you pray…, and when you fast…”  are not made that only two (giving and prayer) would be done, but that all THREE would be done.  I believe we miss out so much on what God has for us because many Christians only two of these three. 

Christians don’t mind praying.  We seem to pray a lot when we are in trouble.  Even non-Christians pray; Muslims pray; Hindus pray.  We don’t mind the praying.  Most of us don’t mind giving (well, as long as it doesn’t affect us too greatly J).   We give our time at church or in ministry or we give financially to God’s house and His work.  But, when it comes to fasting, that’s something all together different.  Who wants to give up FOOD for God?  Not many Christians do.  Food is what we celebrate with and comfort ourselves with.  Our “King Stomachs” love our food.  So for us to have to cause our flesh to come under submission and discipline to give up food is something many of us find hard to do, and I believe that our stomachs are one of the things that hold us back from TRULY “feasting” on all God has for us spiritually.

We don’t have to wait on God to tell us to fast or even to “feel” like we are to fast, in order to do it.  Just try giving up one meal or one type of food (one you like/ picking something you don’t like doesn’t count) for a couple days and see how much more clearly you hear God’s voice.  Remember that God knows your inner heart, so if you pick to give up beans for a week and beans aren’t something you really LOVE to eat, then your fast isn’t going to be as effective.  But, if you gave up chocolate for a week or for whatever allotted time period, something that many of us women soooo very much love, then God sees your sacrifice and will honor it. 

Fasting isn’t just good for your spirit and soul, but it is also good for your body.  Don Colbert has two books out regarding the health benefits of fasting and how to do it safely if you plan on doing an extended fast for 3 days or longer with only juices for nourishment.  He strongly recommends getting a doctors’ guidance if you go longer than 3 days without food.  After just today coming off an extended fast myself, I will tell you that getting a good doctor’s advice for this (especially for us moms who have a family to care for at home) is good advice.

If you don’t feel you can do an extended fast right now, I encourage you to at least try to give up a certain food/foods.  Try the Daniel fast (you can research on that online), or just give up one meal and spend time with our Lord.  You’ll be amazed at what all God does in your life when you fast.  He is so good to honor His Word, and He does draw so close to us.  You’ll also feel better too (after the fast, not during it, probably J).

Don’t let legalism and the devil’s lies hold you back.  Don’t let your stomach keep you from a closer relationship with God and all the goodness He has to offer you.  Don’t miss out on your breakthroughs.  I encourage you – FAST.  It is one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do.  

Repost of Valentine's Weekend Blessing

Just a post I finally am reposting from earlier this year - 2/07/11

Like another post, I removed this post due to some feedback I had gotten from one of my readers.  Nothing major, but enough to make me remove the post for a bit.

After some consideration, I decided to add it back too.  Enjoy

Valentine's Weekend Blessing

When you obey God and honor him with your lips, your thoughts, your time, and your money, you will find that He will bless you in unimaginable ways.

For over 4 weeks now, the idea of getting through this Valentine's Day has been so daunting to me. For over 10 years, I have looked forward to this special time. I was always eager to plan or let my husband plan the special event for us and what we would do with this day to show each other how much we loved each other. It had become such a wonderful habit. (Though, I must say, last year wasn't quite the same!)

At any rate - this year, my church is having a couples Valentine's banquet with a great guest speaker. How I wish I could go! It's just that I have always enjoyed the couples' thingy get togethers. I enjoyed getting together with other couples, sharing in the laughs and similarities of just being a couple. And, now I feel like I'm on the outside crowd.

I'm not just on the outside crowd with married couples, but now with singles too. For how can I fit in that crowd? Or even in the divorced crowd?

I certainly have no desire to go to some divorced group therapy bit, sitting there with a bunch of other possible "vultures" who are just waiting to pounce on some "poor" sweet Christian girl/lady (or so they will think I'm some poor lady - ask some of my friends. They will testify that it would take a strong man to handle my spice, spunk, and energy) whom they want to be their "rebound" girl or their replacement helpmeet. No thank you!

Dating? Are you kidding? No thanks!

The world's motto now seems to be "try it, before you buy it." In fact, I just recently had a co-worker encourage me to do some "trying" around to see what I might like. WHAT! This is crazy, and soooo not Biblical. I don't need to "try" anything or anyone. I KNOW I am led by the Holy Spirit, and I'll trust Him to take care of the details. I have no desire to date, hold hands with, or kiss anyone that might not be God's best for me.

Yuck! Why can't more singles get this concept? Don't they know that if they aren't kissing or holding hands with the "right one," then they are doing so with someone else's husband or wife? NONE of this is Biblical!

Okay - back to the blessings' story.

So, for this weekend, I wanted to get away. I wanted to spend some quiet time with just me and God and hopefully some time with the kids down at the beach. I knew I couldn't afford this - due to legal fees and such- but I thought I'd ask around and look anyway.

I didn't put a lot of effort into looking or asking. In fact, I only looked at one place and asked one person.

Well, on Sunday, God asked me to give not just my tithes but also more than double my tithes as part of the offering. That sounded crazy to me, but God, I KNEW, was asking me to do so. My argument for common sense was, "God, you do know I have to pay these legal fees, right?"

Well, God said to do it anyway, so do it, I did.

The next day was pay day - and I looked at my pay stub and saw that the bonus I had received in my pay check, covered what God had asked me to give.

AND NOW!

I received a phone call from my friend who I had asked about the beach overnight stay discount. But, instead of saying he was giving me a discount, he told me that the whole weekend would be covered. He said that he felt God wanted to bless me, so I was getting this trip. God came through and used this person as a vessel to bless me with an all expense paid cruise to the Keys this next weekend, and possibly a 2 night stay at a spa and resort! The whole trip including the cruise normally would run about $1300. That's crazy! That's God!

Can we say "happy dance," praise dance, and small yell! I'm more than excited! I'm ecstatic! I can't even tell ya!

So rejoice with me! God's love is amazing! And, I'm excited for what He has for me and my boys in the days ahead!

Alone

It's been a while since I've posted - Okay - it's been almost 3 months. 

Sorry for the brief furlough.  It's been a busy 3 months. 

First, I had off for the summer with my boys. I was able to get that time off about 10 days before my last post, and I can honestly say I enjoyed EVERY part of my summer with the boys. We had a blast - fishing in the pond, jumping into muddy water, swimming at the local water park here, and just BEING together.  Just BEING.

In the last year, the boys and I have not just learned how to cope, but we have learned to live again.  It wasn't ideal.  It wasn't what we wanted. It wasn't our choice.  But, we have survived - at least this season anyway.

I know there is more to come. I know that more challenges are ahead.  I know that I will have to address issues later on that I don't have to right now while the boys are still young. But, I also know I serve a BIG God who knows that these issues will need to be addressed.  I know He will protect us and keep their hearts and minds.

Being single still has its challenges, but it isn't as bad as the original break was at first.  The wound has healed quite a bit.  And though there is still a scar, and it's still ugly red, it's a scar.  It's not a gaping, ugly, open wound that is fizzing puss and yuck.  It's just a scar that will fade with time.

I still love the man. I love him deeply, more deeply than I thought I had. 

I see him in many things and can hear his deep laughter that rolls out of his chest.  I see him in our Disney trips and can see the sweat pouring off his brow in this Florida heat. I can see him with his silly fanny pack and feel his exasperation that he is sweating so much.  I can hear him make jokes with the boys as they take their baths and hear him let the dog out and then lock up for the night.  I miss his logic with the kids and his down-to-earth mannerisms. I miss him at times (the good times and the good stuff), but I know that the good was only a handful compared to the bucket fulls of bad. 

Yet in all the missing -  I feel freedom.  I feel such freedom to move on.  I feel alive again and joyful again.  I feel God's hand greatly on my life as He guides me.

I'm far from perfect.  I have definitely made mistakes, but I am striving to do His will in everything. I am striving to get it right and be pleasing to Him.  And, I pray in the end that I will hear Him say, "Tamera, you did well.  And, I'm proud of you."

I pray He is proud of me - in learning to live again, love again, trust again, play again, run, dance, and sing again.  I pray He is proud of me - in just being.

Transformation

Much has changed over the years since I was first married - One of the things which had greatly changed for the worse was my weight. Below is a picture of me when I first got married.

Dad, Me, Mom, My Brother

I was at a healthy weight, liked myself a lot and didn't beat myself up for things.

Then, after I got married, I began to beat myself up about everything.  I thought, "I'm not patient enough, smart enough, kind enough, submissive enough, gentle enough, accepting enough, funny enough,...." I also thought, "He doesn't like me because I'm not as good as a housekeeper as he would like, or as good at being punctual as he would like, or as good at being quiet in the mornings as he would like, or as good at being alone as he would like,...." There was tons of stuff I never felt like I was good enough at.  So, I worked on all those things, instead of working on what God wanted me to be working on.  Part of that "what" should have been me.  I let the physical side go, so I could focus on all the other parts.  But, the physical side is important too.

Unfortunately, my lack of care of self led me to this. See below.

Sad, I know.  Don't be too shocked.  For after this picture in 2004.  I gained even more weight with my son and had a horrible time losing that too. I ended up looking like this.

Scarier, I know!

I see these pictures of myself now, and think, "WOW! Was I really THAT big! REALLY!"

And, I'm so thankful, God has brought me to another level of my life and walk with him.


It has taken some time, and God's transforming work. But, God can and DID do it.

The transformation God has made in me is incredible - inside and out.  I'm not only stronger on the outside, I'm stronger on the inside too.

I have learned to cling to Him everyday and lean on Him for everything. I have found that He is with me in the times I spend with friends, the time I spend with my boys, and in my alone times.  He is with me.

Here is where I am today.

Much thinner. MUCH thinner! And Much stronger.

And, though my life has changed and gone in a direction I NEVER expected it to go, I find that when I trust in God and let HIM do the transforming, that I really AM at my best.  He has the BEST for me.  I just have to be willing to listen and obey in ALL things - including food and exercise - even when I don't feel like it or see the benefit of it.

His Word is Transforming.  And, though my outside has changed - it is really the inside (my heart) that is most important.  From the inside out.

Your Self Esteem

Where does your self-esteem come from?  Does it come from other people - their opinions, their view of you, their comments, and how they treat you?  Does it come from your abilities and what you are able to do? Does it come from your accomplishments and what you know you are going to accomplish?
Many people have such a low self-esteem, or opinion of themselves.  They do not think very highlly of themeselves; therefore, they do things that are harmful to themselves - like hurt themselves, or overeat or undereat, or speak negatively about themselves, or even live in a lifestyle that is harmful to them.

I too struggle at times, some days more than others, with my own self-esteem.  But, I have something many do not have. I have the knowledge of knowing that my self-worth does not come from myself.  Instead it comes from God.  God finds me valuable and worth it.  He found me valuable enough to send His only son Jesus to die for my sins. He found me valuable enough to let me hear the message of redemption.  AND, He found me valuable enough to give me a choice between His love for me, or to continue on the path of self-destruction I was on.

He found me valuable, and He still finds me WORTH it! 

I many times don't find myself worth it.  I have been guilty of comparing myself to others, thinking that I'm not good enough.  I have thought - well, I'm not pretty enough, or skinny enough, or smart enough, or witty enough, or ..... Anything, in myself, just didn't seem enough. 

The great thing is, that there is NOTHING within myself that is enough.  NOTHING.  However, when I said "yes" to His ways and His plan and HIS gift of salvation, I found that my value really wasn't in who I thought I was, but in who GOD thinks I am. 

I forget this from time to time, though not as often as I used to do so. I have come a long way, but I take hope that He will continue to remind me of my value to Him, and I don't have to depend on who I think I am.  For truly, within myself, I am just NOT enough.