Waiting

So, I'm stuck in the waiting stage again. 

Waiting.... and Waiting... and waiting...

God's timing! 

Ay yi yi.  All about waiting on Him.  And, trusting in Him to lead me.

UPDATE -

New job - Last week I was hired for a new job.  I start in August teaching high school again.  This is going to be a much easier work load for me and allows me to spend more time with the boys. 
Eventually, I'd like to be a stay at home mom again, and I'm trusting that God will put me back there again.  Just trusting and waiting. 

Relationship with my guy friend - As expected and predicted, my relationship with my guy friend has become more serious.  I've enjoyed the growth we've made together, and truly am super blessed to have him in my and my boys' lives.  My parents are also blessed to have him here too. I'm sure this takes a LOAD off their minds about what's going to happen to "strong minded" and "poor" Tamera. Just ask them, they'll tell you - yes, they think this way.

My parents - My dad has gotten some better.  He doesn't drink as often, though he took a horrible spell for the worst from October last year to December of this year.  2 hospitalizations and an ambulance ride included didn't deter him from drinking his alcohol.  It's like a sickness that only GOD can deliver him from.  It weighs on the whole family.
Neither of my parents are attending church right now.  This is weird for my brother and I, since my parents were "religious" about making sure we were all in church when we were growing up.  I wonder if it's more about "doing the right thing" for them, than it is a command from God and about their relationships with Him and other believers. 
Sure, they "attend" church each Sunday via the television, but if asked to attend or visit church with me, a whole host of excuses are offered.  Frustratingly sad!   How I LONG for them to be able to give back into other's lives and for them to receive in return.  The encouragement of fellow Believers is so vitally important. How can we as Christians be so duped into believing that it's not. 

D. - Still is D.  He has ranted, raved, been horribly bitter, mean, and spiteful, and has been this way up until about a month ago.  Unbelievably, he sent me an email and told me he was sorry for all the pain he'd caused our family and that he realized he had messed up big time. He also said he had been neglectful of me and the boys and couldn't believe he'd left us.  It was a major break through for me AND him - especially him.  I know/knew D. is going to make it.  He is going to get better. I'm trustin God that this will happen. 

A sweet friend of mine, once told me that the pendulum for D. would swing.  He would swing in his emotions.  And, sure enough, he did.  Soon after his sweet email, he wrote me another one to tell me how awful a parent I was - but at least it's not attacking my personhood now.  I think this pendulum will begin to slow down now, even though I know it will swing for a time. 

My boys - Right now, they are supposed to be sleeping - of course, they are coming in here where I'm typing to let me know that they "SHOULD" sleep with me tonight. LOL
After D. left, of course, I let them crash in the bed with me for many months.  Over a year, almost.  But in the last 5 months, I've been working them back to sleeping in their own beds.  They only come in usually to sleep on a pallet beside me or to snuggle in the mornings.  It's gotten a lot better.

I LOVE having them with me, but really, I WOULD, like to have my own space back some.  Learning to be on my own has had its own share of adjustments.  Some good, some bad.  I can definitely say that I encourage ANYONE who is considering a divorce to please invest the time, money, prayer, and energy into staying together.  Divorce is so painful and leaves such open wounds.  It can take YEARS to recover from.
And, some never recover from it.  The devil is a liar, and divorce is not God's best.

Well, I think that's about it for now.  I'm sure I'll have more to say in the days ahead.  Just need to find the time to say it.

Good night for now,

Tamera